Raising Older Teenagers

I've raised three of them (teenagers) that is, and truth be told it is like one giant roller coaster ride for me. I've read all kind of articles on how great it is, and how nightmarish it can be but in reality it's a crap shoot. There are tons of factors that will play into these years of course, but since I'm posting my opinion here we will go with my experience. 

I've raised my kids to be independent thinkers, meaning this: think for yourself don't just go with the flow. Now this translated during their teen years into pushing boundaries, challenging discussions on EVERYTHING, picking roads less traveled for career choices, and as much as it has pained me putting distance between me and them every now and then during the college years to make sure their views were their views and not mine. This was needed for them to grow and me.

Here is a factor that is debated at our house my last child is my son, and the other two are my daughters. My son is so different from both of them is it because he is the last child or because he is a boy? If you've ever meet him you would know it's just him, his personality, his thinking, etc. He doesn't just think outside the box sometimes I think he doesn't even see the box when solving a problem. When I asked him once if your friends were jumping off a bridge would you, his response was where's the bridge at? how deep is the water? are there bungee cords or a straight jump? (this question was just asked a few weeks ago).

My girls well they are opposites too. I am very fortunate because their opposing views on things they don't try to change the other one, but try to see things through different perceptions. The mountains that these two have climbed on their own journeys leave me in awe and amazement. 

There is no perfect book to tell you how to raise them to be great adults. Prayer daily is a must have. Communication, and yes even a little space. Let them make mistakes, teach them how to have fun doing things, unplug every now and then, especially at this age keep reminding them of basic principles, and at the end of the day sometimes it's still just a crap shoot.  



 

College Life- views from a parent

I'm delighted to present my views and perceptions on college life by a parent (myself, a non-college educated way too young to have children in college herself kind of person). I recently picked up my middle child for a 2 week break between her summer classes and preparing for the fall ones, and made some new observations. This isn't going to be one of those sappy posts. I love all my children and I'm extremely proud of them ALL, they have crossed mountains that I'm left in awe of. That being said let's get down to the rough side of reality:

• The surprise visit- don't do it!! For everyone involved parents just don't. Surprise them with money, surprise them with care packages, not a surprise visit. 
• Survival-as the first year progresses they get new survival instincts some are great, some not so much. Remember they have their own goal in mind they are doing what you taught them...going after it. Sometimes that means distant from us.
• Adults in charge- ha!! The adults that are mentoring our super young adults worry me. That being said pray for them, and in true me fashion I still draw bushy eyebrows on them in the program.  
• REMEMBER WHERE YOU CAME FROM!!- for good or bad don't forget it. I will preach this night and day always. 
• Dorms-oh for crying out loud. Your kid has wanted their own room their whole life just to get excited about sharing a dorm room at college. This topic could get an entire post by itself. Share, be courteous, have fun but not too much, pick up after yourself, use the cleaning supplies I bought you...you're wasting your breath here none of these things will happen. You should just get out the black sharpie now and put their name on all their stuff just like when they were in kindergarten. 
• Unnecessary items- there is sooooo much that they really do not need to take with them that the 'college' say to. Again an entire post just for this topic. Keep in mind you will eventually have to pick them up and it's all nice and neat now, there stuff will grow and things will not be nice and neat. All that being said there is quite a bit that the 'college' doesn't tell you that they will need. I think it all depends on your new adult.
• Condoms-don't go all bugged eyed on me. No matter what your views here is and how you raised your kid. Buy them and pack them. 
• Laundry- stay on them constantly about this.To me this is the dominant smell of the dorms and it's not fabric softener sheets.

Good luck parents!!